familia

12 Little Known Ways, To Make Magical Memories With Your Children

Image

“It is not enough to give what we have; we must also give what we are.”

It is during the most mundane part of our day, that we find ourselves lost in the monotony of life. We wake up, we go to work, and we take care of the family in between. We repeat this vicious cycle: Wake up. Go to work. Go home. Go to bed. Wake up. Do it all over again. Before you know it, the year has passed. Then two years zoom by. Astonishingly, the next thing you know, 2 years turns to 7. Eventually an entire decade flashes by!

As you sit there, reflecting over how the time has slipped away from you, and thinking to yourself,

“Where has the time gone?”

Before you have time to start mulling over your many regrets, missed opportunities, and failures, instead glance over at your growing munchkins! Sit there and observe every little intricate detail about them. Admire their growing little bodies. They are your life. They are your treasure. They are your most valuable possession! Savor this life!

Parents, do not allow the weight of the world to poison you! Eh! We have daily battles. Much to our dismay, our little rugrats can become a nuisance, compounding to our ever present stress. Additionally, we become burdened with bills and problems. Every day the stress snowballs out of our control. Consequently, during these trials, we fail to realize that our children just want to play with us. They don’t understand job layoffs, divorces, and other adult catastrophes. Children want to know they are loved and protected.

Therefore, rid yourself from the urge to solve all of life’s problems overnight, and just spend time with your children. If there is anything I know for sure, it’s that children will remember whether you had time for them. My parents were dirt poor and yet they always made time for us. Furthermore, it didn’t matter to me one bit that we lived in an efficiency rather than a fancy house. It mattered to me that my mami always figured out how to have a hot meal for us. Even when she had to use a propane tank to cook our meals. Yes! A propane tank! Lord knows I am thankful for frijoles y tortillas. I’m a proud frijolera!

Loving parents are never too PROUD to do whatever it takes to PROVIDE for their children. Laboriosly, they research for how to retrieve the things the family desperately needs. God just blesses parents with that cadaver dog instinct. It’s in their DNA. They can find all of their needs. They make a way! Therefore, do not worry about the upcoming winter and all of the seasonal stress, and the bills. Do not panic because the kids are growing like weeds and need new clothes. Rest easy in the knowledge that everything will be ok. It always is. Christmas will be here before you know it, and if you just REMEMBER these 12 ways to make magical memories with your children, it just might relieve some of that seasonal stress.

  1. Learn Together- Help them with School Work And Or Homeschooling
  2. Worship God Together- At Home, Church, In the Car, Anywhere
  3. Devotional Times- Family Prayers, Reading Bible Together, Studying & Discussing The Word Of God, Memorizing Scriptures
  4. Playing- Watching the children play, and or joining them, Build Forts, Castles, Pretend Play
  5. Singing- Music is magical! Let them sing. Sing with them. Invite the neighbors too!
  6. Gardening- Grow things together: Plants, Veggies, Fruits, Flowers, whatever!!!
  7. Eating- Eat together as a family. For a more magical memory, set the table and enjoy dinner at the family table together.
  8. Read- Read books to them. Let them read books to you. Read books to each other. Invite the grandparents to read to them. Record those memories on video and make it a family keepsake/heirloom.
  9. Current Events- Have conversations with your children about what is going on in the world. Let’s bring up kids who give a damn! They really are our future.
  10. Movie Night- Family Flicks & Popcorn Night (My personal favorite and one I plan to implement weekly this year)
  11. Baking/Cooking- Cook together. Bake together. And teach them to share with the less fortunate. Feed someone who is hungry.
  12. Start A Family Business- Teach them about budgeting money, finances, and being good stewards.

Now, don’t fret about tomorrow my friends. Worry only about today. God Be With You!

The more love we share with everyone, the more loveable we become

Quotations Taken From:

Anthony, Robert Dr. THINK BIG, A Think Collection, Berkley 1999

Good People | Buena Gente – Part One

Standard

A very frequent colloqiualism I heard growing up in the Mexican community, was:

“El/Ella es buena gente.” Which basically translates to: “He/She is good people.”

I also read that “good people”is not proper English. It is considered Black Slang in A Dictionary of Afro-American Talk by Clarence Major 1971 1513N.

I recently celebrated my 35th birthday on February 13. I am so blessed that in these 35 years I have had the privilege to meet some really “buena gente”,”good people.”

The reason I first started my blog was because I lost the most “buena gente” person that I knew. My papi.He passed on to eternal glory in July of 2016.

He was truly “good people.” He was brave, intellectual, empathetic, resilient, kind, he had a sense of humor, and so many other things.

As I have previously written, I miss our candid talks the most. Towards the end of his life he was just too ill, to have one more talk with me.

And although I desperately wanted to ask him to, I refrained myself from doing so. He was suffering greatly and I didn’t want to be selfish.

I think that’s what I mourn the most. That I can never fill that void. That I can never talk to him again. I mean he can hear me, but I can’t hear him.

Maybe that’s why my blog is the prescription that I need to give me a little bit of pain relief.

He was the only one who would listen to me. I mean really listen to the words I was saying. Then he would THINK about his response.

He would give me sound, rational advice. He just always knew what to say. I never know what to say or how to say it, hence the reason I try to write it instead.

Now that my dad is gone my joy comes from meeting all the “good people” in the world that I come across.

It makes me happy when I meet someone (especially complete strangers) who are willing to chat up a storm about whatever strikes our fancy.

I love to see their raw emotions. I love to find a way to connect with them. I enjoy listening to them tell me their stories. And I get excited to share them with you.

I hope you continue to follow my blog because in part 2 of my “Good People” “Buena Gente” Blog Mini Series, I will be sharing with you the story about how I met the son of a Former NFL Hall of Fame’r who is the epitome of ” good people.”

This is one story you won’t want to miss.

I dedicate this mini series to my loving father. My hero. Jose Guadalupe Montalvo. You are greatly loved and missed Papi. I hope I make you proud. I love you! This February, this “love” month, I will share my love by telling the stories of these “good people” with the world. Even if I’m only reaching 60 people right now.

It is not what he has, nor even what he does, which directly expresses the worth of a man, but what he is.

-Henri Frederic Amiel

Mis Padres, My Parents!

Standard

After I got home from work the other night, I called my mami. Earlier that day I had been having a rough time. I had many things troubling me. So I told her the details of my day and asked her some questions.

I was hoping that she could offer some encouragement and would have some input for me. So I was a little crushed when she just responded,

“I don’t know mija“.

There was an awkward silence after her response. I just smiled though because it was ok. I know she’s still grieving the loss of my papi (daddy).

I wasn’t crushed because she didn’t have an awnser, but because I really just needed reassuring responses. Or better yet if I could just have one more of those candid conversations I used to have with mi papi.

Mi papi would have these deep, thought provoking replies. He always knew just what to say.There was never a right or wrong answer. He just always had a well thought out message. His wisdom probably credited to the life experiences he had.

As I previously shared in my bio page post, I lost mi papi in July. My dad somehow knew that I didn’t really need an answer to these questions (because there is no ONE awnser). He knew I just needed to engage in a philosophical conversation. He was brilliant at helping me to understand “life”. Gosh I miss him so much! I still cry everyday.

I feel like I am constantly trying to talk about him. I’m always finding any reason to bring him up (So if it’s annoying, I apologize). Hopefully, what I say is inspiring and not irritating.

Now don’t get me wrong about my mom. She’s smart too. I call her a “Jane of all trades”. She is skilled in many ways. She’s entrepreneurial. She DIY’s and I’m not only talking about crafts and glue gun type. I’m talking about ordering Auto Zone and Oreilys Auto Parts kind and being her own mechanic. She really has superhero strengths 💪.

My mother is my only living parent now, so I will be scrutinizing everything she does and how she does it (And being the nerd that I am, I’ll probably write notes to help me remember for future reference). Not in a negative and critical sense but just in an awe and respectful sense.

It brings a smile to my face, knowing that I see a combination of the traits of both my parents in myself. I feel like I inherited mi papi’s intellectual and philosophical curiosity and mi mami’s creativity and entrepeneurial gusto.

During their formative years, my parents both dropped out of middle school; my dad in Mexico, and my mom in America. I wish I would have inquired a little more about their extenuating circumstances. I’m sure we talked about it some. I regret not having written any of it down, for my memory fails me now.

I now have to fill that vacant space someway. I have to find other people who are willing to have these candid conversations with me. That’s hard to do in this day in age because everyone is busy in life, or caught up on social media such as Facebook (Whom I myself have become victim to frequently).

Perhaps this blog I’ve created will be a little outlet, and a way to fill that vacancy. I enjoy using my creativity to challenge myself in this way. I love words and writing. I’m on a learning adventure everyday of my life. I meet people with incredible stories and I pray that one day they will let me share their stories as well.

Feel free to chime in. Obviously my blog and my writing won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But hopefully in some way I can encourage others to pursue their passions. I want to hear your thoughts. Tell me the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So my parting thought and message for this post is,

Honor your mother and father. Remember to call your parents tonight. Thank them for all they have sacrificed. Most importantly don’t forget to tell them you love them.

–Deanna Guadalupe Montalvo

I’m not trying to be bossy or sound condescending. I’m just a little jealous because I can’t call mi papi anymore. I sure will be calling my mom though.

If you don’t have your parents to talk to anymore. Please don’t be sad. Email me. I will read your stories and engage in philosophical (or any candid) type of conversations with you.

I hope you like reading my stories and snippets of life as well. If you do please follow my blog. And if you don’t that’s quite alright too.

To contact me:

dstatam63@bethelu.edu

candidchicana@gmail.com

My Photo: “Papi & Mami” Jose Guadalupe Montalvo, Gloria Anna Montalvo

5 Simple Ways To Preserve & Pass Down Our Culture To Our Children

Standard
  1. CONVERSATION Have your children talk to their aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Some of my own fondest memories are candid conversations that I had with my father. Many of my beliefs have been formed and shaped simply from the talks that I remember having with him.
  2. READ Read to your children, and let them read to you. Intentionally pick out books that they can relate to. Choose books that educate them about their own culture.
  3. RESEARCH Go on the internet to search for information about your own culture. My daughters and I love to do this and often find ourselves diverted on several rabbit trails. It’s fun and educational. Anything from articles to YouTube videos.
  4. PROMINENT PEOPLE Study prominent people with your children. Are their people in your own family that played important roles in history? Perhaps a grandparent fought in a war. Interview them and make a video for the family keepsakes. Whether war stories, or just ramblings of their own childhood memories…these are the words that influence and impact our children.
  5. WRITE Have your children reflect and write their memories and experiences. I can recall my parents taking me to Mexico to visit my grandparents when I was only a child. Many of my ideas for writing have come from that trip alone. The featured image up above, is of my abuelitos (my paternal grandparents) from Mexico.

What other ways can you think of to pass down and preserve our family history?

Contact me at:

candidchicana@gmail.com

dstatam63@bethelu.edu