self-doubt

A True Story About Failure and Quitting

Standard

It’s always too soon to quit.

– Dr. Robert Anthony

I’ve mentioned before in some of my previous blogs that I’ve failed a lot in my life. But failing doesn’t always equal quitting.

Everyone knows that it takes failing over and over sometimes, if you really want to perservere.

When I was in the military there was a time when I couldn’t do my “run” (qualifications) in my alloted time. So, they ordered me to attend (Mando PT) mandatory physical training. It sucks because you have to be up at like 4:30 a.m. to excercise every day. I DO NOT MISS THAT!

Anyway. I trained, and trained, and trained religiously, until the day of the re-take PT Quals.

So all of us mando pt, men and women showed up at the gym the day of the re-take PT quals. And I remember the trainors telling us,

“No matter what, don’t stop running until you do all of your laps.”

There was probably about a dozen of us there. So, they started the time on the stop watch, and we all began running our laps.

Immediatly, the few fast runners, were laps ahead of the rest of us slow runners. Some of the ones who did finish their laps in time, ended up vomitting afterwards.

The trainors continued urging the rest of us to finish our laps. But as people started missing their target time, they were just giving up.

Despite that, the trainors kept on shouting from the sidelines,

“Don’t stop! Keep running!,”as a last effort to convince us to finish our laps.

I saw each and every one of the slow runners just throw there hands up in defeat, and walk off the track. I don’t blame them really, they had already failed.

So, now…..it’s just me, Deanna running (chest burning, dying every step of the way). And I was feeling like a dumb @$$. Because everyone that has failed up to this point, has left the track. And my slow @$$ is still running.

I’m hearing the trainors shouting,

“Don’t quit! Just keep going! Finish!”

All the while I’m thinking:

“I’m the only idiot still running, knowing I’ve failed. I’ve missed my mark. I’ve gone way over on my time. And I look stupid!”

But nonetheless, I just could’nt quit. I had already failed the quals. But all that was left, was for me to finish what I had started.

So I ran. It felt unmercifully endless. And I imagine the sight of me was painfully pitiful.

But alas, my tortorous plight had come to its conclusion. Even though I felt like I had to vomit afterwards, I didn’t.

The trainors commended me for not quitting, and for finishing my laps. While I failed to meet the quals, I could at least be proud that I didn’t give up.

This was a similiar experience to our “battlestations training” in bootcamp, where it does not benefit you to give up, and to just quit. I can not stress enough, no matter what you look like and feel like while your doing it, just keep going!

So what if you look like a hot mess! As long as you get it done. Maybe the test isnt, can you finish this race in (insert minutes / amt of time)? Perhaps the real question is, Do you have what it takes to keep running, to FINISH your race?

We can’t win every race we embark on. But we can choose whether or not we cross the FINISH line.

What you get by reaching your destination is not as important as what you become by reaching your destination.

-Dr. Robert Anthony

Quote Taken From,

Anthony, Robert Dr., Think Big A Think Collection,Berkley Aug 1999.

OLGA CASTILLO, Born To Box

Standard

https://candidchicanachronicles.blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/fb_img_1498875950312.jpg

I had the most honorable privilege of becoming aquianted with a remarkable woman. Olga Castillo, a 43 year old woman, and grandmother, who shared with me that she is a boxer. Y, orgullamente es Chicana tambien!😍

It was inspirational to hear her story, that I asked her to share all of the most intimate details with me, so that I could share it on my blog. I love women empowerment and this story just embodies all of that woman power!

Olga started boxing at the age of 33. She has been boxing for a decade now. She says she started out by learning the basics and worked her way into competing in matches.

Olga confided with me that she had experienced some hardships in her life and that she was already “FIGHTING ALONE.”

She decided to join, because boxing is in her blood. Admittedly, she confesses that boxing is her therapy.

Maybe to you and I that sounds a little unorthodox, but after you hear the circumstances she endured, it makes sense that she would turn to boxing, a formerly male dominated blood sport, and destroy that fallacy with all her poder.

Women…belong in the ring! Especially if that is where they choose to be.

So let us go back a little.

Horrifically, Olga was molested by her own brother as a young girl. This in turn caused her to feel like she didn’t have a voice. She grew up to be shy and understandably a little insecure.

Once a married adult, she found herself trapped in an abusive marriage for 4 years. In these dark years, she was beaten by the very person who had vowed to love her and cherish her. Thus too, contributing to her insecurity.

One source says, “Sadly, one out of three women are victims of domestic violence. And these women come from all walks of life-yes, all! Whether rich or poor, young or old, whether educated or not, employed or not, religious or not, abuse abides by no boundaries.”(Hunt,June)

I myself, have become disheartened to learn about how bad women are really treated….all over the world. It’s like God has given me a revelation about something that has always been there…but I never paid attention at the severity of it.

Olga says that overcoming her past was the deeper fight. With boxing, she fought to find her voice. She says that with each hit and each punch to the bag, her voice gets louder and louder.

With boxing she has learned to stand up for herself. She is no longer insecure. She is a role model to all the young women who want to pursue boxing as a sport.

Boxing has helped build up her self-esteem, confidence, and strength. She now can stand up for herself and others. And most importantly she found that inner power within herself, that she credits boxing, for giving that back to her.

Check out her boxing moves in the ring in the link below.

https://youtu.be/9ETFT6f6hjU

Olga says the toughest part is staying focused in the ring. She encourages all women to give boxing a try. It was once a male dominated sport, but women have taken it to the Olympics. Which is a big thing!

You never know, you might like it.

A Crazy Myth Writers Need To Kill

Standard

Im reading The Audacity to be a Writer: 50 Inspiring Articles on WRITING that Could Change Your LIFE.

This book is a compilation of articles by Bryan Hutchinson and many other contributing authors.

Tonight I’m reading the article titled: A Crazy Myth Writers Need To Kill.

This particular article is right on time.

I have been doubting myself and my writing”talent”. I have produced about a dozen blog posts for my blog Candid Chicana since I started in Nov of 2016. The problem is that I hate them all. I feel like I need to go back and tweek, fix, edit, rewrite, change, omit, and revise every single one of them. I’m so dissatisfied that I even contemplated deleting them entirely and starting over.

Most writers probably doubt their skills and abilities. I think that is because they obssess about being good writers. They tend to be the harshest critic on themselves. And with good reason. They passionately care about the quality of their work.

According to Hutchinson,”Simply because some people tell you that you need to know everything about writing doesn’t mean you need to know everything, at least not the way they do. If you buy into such assertations, Writer’s Doubt will eat you up and spit you out.(Hutchinson, Bryan pp.20.)

The Myth:

  • You need to be an expert in all aspects of writing to be a writer.

The Truth:

  • “You don’t need to be a grammar master, you don’t need to know everything about punctuation, and you don’t need to be able to teach English 101. Sure it’s great if you can, but it’s not necessary.”

He compares Stephen King and Danielle Steel, both whom are bestselling authors. King received a B.A. in English in 1970 and published his first novel, Carrie in 1974. Steel never studied writing in school yet she is the fourth bestselling author alive today, with over 800 million copies of her book sold to date.

This has reassured me that it’s okay if I don’t know it all. That I am not required to know it all in order to be a writer. The only real requirement, is to W R I T E! I know I have to work on the mechanics of my writing, but that’s a daily process. Each day I learn more and more and immerse myself in the process.

I don’t have to compete or compare myself with anyone. I just have to do what I love. I just have to write. At the end of the day if I really am an awful writer, there’s still hope for me.

Charles Dickens and Mark Twain were both dropouts and still managed to succeed. There’s hope for me ya’ll! If you are still clicking on my blogs, I thank you very much. Perhaps one day I will write something really profound. I pray that I do.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Leave comments or thoughts below. Let me know if you have suggestions for me or writing tips and advice. I’ll take all the knowledge that I can get. If you have book suggestions please post them in the comment section as well. Better yet, tell me what books you are reading.

Goodnight folks.

Work Cited: Hutchinson, Bryan, The Audacity to be a Writer, 50 Inspiring Articles on WRITING that Could Change Your LIFE. 2015.