powerful thoughts

Discerning The Direction Of Your Dreams

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Sometimes I wonder why God gives me these Herculean dreams. I can be thinking that I have it all figured out, and then suddenly God gives me more.

That’s not a complaint really, I’m thankful HE trusts me so much, to assign these special jobs to me. But I am just sitting here talking to God, and maniacally ruminating over every idea and project.

Thinking,

Dear Lord, can I handle all of this? God I have the first documentary to work on… now you bless me with this one. But you’re right LORD, this project is immensly more meaningful, powerful, and massively needed in the Mexican community. God what about my childrens book series? I should be doing that as my PRIORITY. After all, that is my very first project idea. Not to mention my illustrator is patiently waiting on me to finish this. GET IT TOGETHER DEANNA! I tell myself. Tick-tock, tick-tock! Time is of the essence D! Where will I get the resources and finances to fund this? How? How? How? Please tell me now LORD! Yikes! This could take years. Where do I even find the equipment? What about that project I wanted to help my daughter with? They will be grown and gone before I know it. (Big sigh).What about my creative business idea? Can I incorporate that in too, into my schedule and into my life? I have to! It’s mandatory not optional.What if I never finish, or I die? That’s like a permanent, irreversible, INCOMPLETE on my entire life. God please let me accomplish all these wonderful ideas you have put on my mind! It scares me to think what if my dreams don’t come true? What if my time runs out?Etc. Etc.

That would be the greatest tragedy of my life. Those are the things I obsess over daily.

Mix together my maniacal thoughts, with a dash of fear, a half cup of doubt and cup of procrastination. Guess what you get?

You get a lone loba writer, stranded on the deserted island, of the Prisoner Of Words. Cautiously, waiting for the spirits to guide me in the right direction. Waiting to be free to run into the wild once again, to regain my clarity and my vision.

I don’t have all the answers. Most days, I can see the vision clearly, and other days I don’t have the focus. But the appetite, the hunger is never entirely satisfied. Just when I think I’m full, I get hungry for more.

My brain tries to put all the pieces of the puzzle together quickly and painlessly. I try to be strategic in my plans and organization. In the end I know I can do more, and I have to do more. Most importantly I must conquer the fear.

My ideas are as colorful and infinite as Charlie’s Evergobstopper, in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. They don’t dull or diminish.” They keep coming. To this I marvel at my God!

I found some apps this weekend to help me keep track of my writing productivity and projects. I am excited that I’m on a new journey. One I’ve never been on before. One that scares the bleep outta me.

But I feel my spirit leading me. It’s difficult for this lone loba to go to uncharted territory and pave a path. But I must confess that when a dream placed on you brings you to tears, and you feel it inside all of your soul, you follow it.

This is what I am being led to do. Hold nothing back. It’s better to try and fail than to always wonder what if. And it’s EVEN BETTER to make your magic in the world.

Leave your mark. Trust your instincts! They will lead you if you listen!

God Bless. I pray that God is giving you direction in your own creative dreams and goals. And that you can listen to the spirit guiding you.

You love what you find time to do.

-Dr. Robert Anthony

Quote: Anthony, Robert Dr. THINK BIG A Think Collection, Berkley, Aug. 1999

Photo Credit: http://www.freeimages.com,TomTown

OLGA CASTILLO, Born To Box

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https://candidchicanachronicles.blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/fb_img_1498875950312.jpg

I had the most honorable privilege of becoming aquianted with a remarkable woman. Olga Castillo, a 43 year old woman, and grandmother, who shared with me that she is a boxer. Y, orgullamente es Chicana tambien!😍

It was inspirational to hear her story, that I asked her to share all of the most intimate details with me, so that I could share it on my blog. I love women empowerment and this story just embodies all of that woman power!

Olga started boxing at the age of 33. She has been boxing for a decade now. She says she started out by learning the basics and worked her way into competing in matches.

Olga confided with me that she had experienced some hardships in her life and that she was already “FIGHTING ALONE.”

She decided to join, because boxing is in her blood. Admittedly, she confesses that boxing is her therapy.

Maybe to you and I that sounds a little unorthodox, but after you hear the circumstances she endured, it makes sense that she would turn to boxing, a formerly male dominated blood sport, and destroy that fallacy with all her poder.

Women…belong in the ring! Especially if that is where they choose to be.

So let us go back a little.

Horrifically, Olga was molested by her own brother as a young girl. This in turn caused her to feel like she didn’t have a voice. She grew up to be shy and understandably a little insecure.

Once a married adult, she found herself trapped in an abusive marriage for 4 years. In these dark years, she was beaten by the very person who had vowed to love her and cherish her. Thus too, contributing to her insecurity.

One source says, “Sadly, one out of three women are victims of domestic violence. And these women come from all walks of life-yes, all! Whether rich or poor, young or old, whether educated or not, employed or not, religious or not, abuse abides by no boundaries.”(Hunt,June)

I myself, have become disheartened to learn about how bad women are really treated….all over the world. It’s like God has given me a revelation about something that has always been there…but I never paid attention at the severity of it.

Olga says that overcoming her past was the deeper fight. With boxing, she fought to find her voice. She says that with each hit and each punch to the bag, her voice gets louder and louder.

With boxing she has learned to stand up for herself. She is no longer insecure. She is a role model to all the young women who want to pursue boxing as a sport.

Boxing has helped build up her self-esteem, confidence, and strength. She now can stand up for herself and others. And most importantly she found that inner power within herself, that she credits boxing, for giving that back to her.

Check out her boxing moves in the ring in the link below.

https://youtu.be/9ETFT6f6hjU

Olga says the toughest part is staying focused in the ring. She encourages all women to give boxing a try. It was once a male dominated sport, but women have taken it to the Olympics. Which is a big thing!

You never know, you might like it.

Aspiring Artists, Daring to Dream & Creating Compelling Content

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I bought two 📚 books by New York Times Best-Selling Author John. C. Maxwell at the Thrift Store where I am currently employed as a Cashier/Shift Manager.

They are titled: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, and Put Your Dreams To The Test: 10 Questions to Help You See It and Seize It.

I can not wait to delve into them. But I am so excited about a little excerpt from the dreams book. I’m a firm believer in sharing things that I find valuable. And so I want to share this excerpt with all of you.

But before I share that excerpt, let me just say that I am a novice blogger, a writer. I’m sorta learning as I go. Winging it! I am trying to “build a new identity” as the writer that I believe I am!(Scott, Steve)

And so obviously my goal is to perfect my own art of crafting compelling content. I‘m a writer. I worry more about my content than my grammar because I want what I create, to reproduce seeds of knowledge. It is summed up well with a quote I saw on a Facebook meme yesterday. It read,

“Write what should not be forgotten.”

-Isabel Allende

(Meme Photo Source Credit: The Writer’s Circle)

My self fulfilling prophecy is to become a Master Storyteller. I am ready to put in the hours, sweat, blood, or tears necessary to achieve this.

I heard Mark Cuban talking on an interview video this morning and he said something that registered with me.He was referring to content on real time social media. He said that on this new media landscape, critics have the platform to say, “oh he is an idiot” or, “she knows her stuff” or in my case,”her writing is mediocre” or, “she’s only a cashier, she doesn’t know anything”.

But guess what? If it gets them talking…then I’m doing something right. I know everyone won’t like everything I write everytime. But hey…I’m showing up. I’m working on it everyday. Why? Because this is my dream. And I will NOT let anyone’s opinion or criticism kill MY DREAM of being a W R I T E R!

Here is the excerpt from the book:

SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DISCOURAGED FROM DREAMING BY OTHERS

Many people have had their dreams knocked right out of them! The world is filled with dream crushers and idea killers. Some people who aren’t pursuing any dreams of their own don’t like to see others pursuing theirs. Other people’s success makes them feel inadequate or insecure.

Business professors Gary Hamel and C.K. Prahalad wrote about an expirament conducted with a group of monkeys. Four monkeys were placed in a room that had a tall pole in the center. Suspended from the top of that pole was a bunch of bananas. One of the hungry monkeys started climbing the pole to get something to eat, but just as he reached out to grab a banana, he was doused with a torrent of cold water. Squeling, he scampered down the pole and abandoned his attempt to feed himself. Each monkey made a similar attempt, and each one was drenched with cold water. After making several attempts, they finally gave up.

The researchers removed one of the monkeys from the room and replaced him with a new monkey. As the newcomer began to climb the pole, the other three grabbed him and pulled him down to the ground. After trying to climb the pole several times and being dragged down by others, he finally gave up and never attempted to climb the pole again.

The researchers replaced the original monkeys, one by one, with new ones, and each time a new monkey was brought in, he would be dragged down by the others before he could reach the bananas. In time, only monkeys who had never received a cold shower were in the room, but none of them would climb the pole. They prevented one another from climbing, but none of them knew why.

Perhaps others have dragged you down in life. They’ve discouraged you from dreaming. Maybe they resented the fact that you wanted to move up or do something significant with your life. Or maybe they were trying to protect you from pain or disappointment. Either way, if you’ve been discouraged from dreaming, take heart. It’s never too late to start dreaming and pursuing your dreams.

-John C. Maxwell

I find it so insightful. Don’t let other people’s judgement and opinions stop you from going after your dreams just because they did. These monkeys got to the point where none of them even knew why they couldn’t go after the bananas. 🍌 They just deterred everyone else from going for them.

MY DREAM is to become a Master Storyteller, a Writer. And if it takes me my entire lifetime…I will persevere! I will create compelling content. I will be a Master Storyteller. And I hope I have inspired you to go after your dreams.

“Dreams come a size too big so that we can grow into them .”

-Josie Bisset

Don’t forget to leave your thoughts and comments below.

Works Cited

Cuban Mark: Only Morons Start A Business on A Loan . YouTube Video

Maxwell, C. John, Put Your Dream To The Test 10 Questions to Help You See It and Seize It

Meme Photo Source Credit: The Writer‘s Circle

Scott Steve, How to Form a New Habit (in 8 easy steps). Slide Share

Chasing Childhood Dreams

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In my previous blog I posted about my childhood dream of becoming a published author of childrens books. I can honestly say that it’s scary as heck putting myself out there.

What if they hate me? What if they hate what I write, or how I write? What if I make a big fool of myself? What if I am not good enough? Or what if I don’t have what “it” takes?

All of those debilitating questions formerly ruminated in my mind and hindered me from taking action.

When I think back on my life though, I wonder, what happened to me? What happened to that invincible spirit that I was once endowed with?

Where is that girl who (at only 17 years old) seized every opportunity with so much eagerness? That girl that was so ready to conquer the world?

That girl that was a pioneer and not a settler. She was a risk taker not a hesitator. She was neither a leader, nor a follower. Naturally, she was a loner (Something that I used to be embarrassed by, but now embrace as a super power).

Somewhere along this life journey I lost her self-reliant spirit.

Day by day I am striving to regain that spirit once again. Deliberately living my life by my own design, and without second guessing myself. Making decisions that I finally feel are in sync with my future destiny.

I don’t have it all figured out, but I am glad that I rediscovered my childhood dream again. The one that has always felt right. The one that was always there but needed to be revived.

The day before yesterday I came across an old home video of my youngest daughter 💃 dancing from a few years ago.

I can recall that day I recorded her vividly in my mind. I remember begging her,

“Mija will you dance for me, like you used to do when you were just a little baby girl?”

I reminded her of how she used to prance around and dance beautifully. She only agreed, to appease me of course. But still, it is one of my favorite home videos. Because watching your baby girls grow up is priceless.

She had zero dance instruction. It was all her own childhood spirit.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=822552324437934&id=100000495233274

The night I recorded that video of my daughter, I cried myself to sleep after I prayed and talked to God.

I said in my prayer to God…something like”God it’s me. I am so blessed to be the mommy of these two beautiful little girls. But how can it be that you made one of my little girls a dancer, when I can not afford for her to get any type of 💃 instruction? Or provide either of them any form of enrichment programs?”

“God you know that I want to give these little girls the world. But I don’t have money to pay for her to take dance classes or the other one to take 🎹 piano lessons. This is a dream that can be expensive for any mother much less a divorcee single mother,(Which I was at that time) So God, I am asking YOU. If YOU made her to be a dancer, then I trust that YOU will open some doors for her. God YOU are father of the fatherless. So I leave this dream of hers in YOUR hands”

I literally gave it to God and went to sleep.

I completely forgot about that prayer as a couple of weeks had passed. But then one day I found some information online about a ministry that was led by Mrs. Kaitlin–O‘Connell Owens at Wonderfully Made Ballet Studio. I sent a quick question to her via e-mail.

Then one day I received an e-mail response from her. She said she was trained in classical ballet. She told me how this ministry was established for any person who had a desire to dance, to be able to have that opportunity. She told me about how this was a donation based studio and anyone could come and learn and pay what they could in the form of a donation.

It was GOD who opened a door for my babygirl to have an opportunity to dance. She was able to attend a couple of semesters.

I am eternally grateful to the school and Wonderfully Made Ballet Studio and Mrs. Kaitlin for being a part of God’s awnser to this mothers prayer.

Now I have not been able to take her to anymore classes since I started working again. Nor do I know if my daughter will ever get a chance to do it again.

But I have a suspicion that her spirit is that of a dancer. And that one way or another she will always gravitate back to her childhood dreams(Only God and Time will tell.)

Yesterday was also the 15th Birthday of my oldest daughter. It’s particularly important in my Mexican culture, because it is a coming of age type celebration. Where she has earned her rite of passage into womanhood. Typically the family has a church ceremony and fiesta celebration afterwards called a quinceanera.

So in reference to childhood dreams, I lament that she will no longer be my little 👧girl, rather she is my little woman now. She will embark on her own journey of self-discovery.

As you can guess my life is busy and full. I have to carve out time to become the me that I’m trying to be, and simultaneously be a working mother who supports my childrens dreams. I feel sleep deprived lately, yet determined to push forward.

My prayer is that all of you may find your chilhood dream. Whatever it is that you are most passionate about. That you would pursue it. And may it come true for you, and for me, and for all of us who are diligently working on our dreams.

Becoming Me

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At 24 years old I applied to the Institute of Children’s Literature. It has always been a dream of mine to publish a children’s book.

I had to send in a written essay. They read over the essays and select some applicants.

Well, I was so happy when I received my letter of acceptance saying that my essay impressed them.

Regrettably, I quit after my first assignment. I’m now 34 years old. Ten years have passed and I have started many projects and either quit them or failed them.

I hate revealing that about myself really. But I’m a pretty great “failure”. Or I should say I’m excellent at creating ideas and starting them, but I’m horrible at seeing them through.

At one point a family member told me to my face that she didn’t want to be “pathetic” like me. Effing OUCH!

Not that I expect everyone to want to emulate me anyway, but it still hurt.

It’s like, wait what? I didn’t think my life was so bad. I may not be where I thought I would be by now, but my life’s not that bad.

Booker T. Washington once said,

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”

My dreams of being a writer would still be just a dream, had I not lost my dad in 2016. His death has shaken me to the core.

I have a new problem now. I feel like I can’t WASTE any time. And especially not another decade.

Obviously there were detours in my life, but how did I get so complacent and stagnant with my ambitions?

So here I am. It’s now the year 2017. Everyone is making resolutions. I don’t even begin to know what resolutions to make in my life….because I never complete them.

So if I make a few and accomplish any, I will consider it a success.

Deanna’s 2017 New Year’s Resolutions

  • Write 1 blog per week at minimum for my blog CANDID CHICANA.
  • Write my children’s books.
  • Revisit some of my incomplete projects that I still can’t let go of and finish or complete them.
  • Put down my cell phone in the company of friends(a new personal conviction of mine.
  • Play with my children, read to my children, and love every second I have with them.
  • Inspire and influence others in a positive way.

I can’t fret over my past, nor will I be discouraged by it. Instead, I will use all of it to mold me into a better me.

Do you have dreams that are hidden and long forgotten? Maybe it’s time for you to revisit those dreams….and go after them. After all, it will take action.

God bless you all this year! May 2017 be your year of prosperity!🎉🎊

Manifesting Your Self-fulfilling Prophecy

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I first learned the concept of the self fulfilling prophecy in college. I believe it was during an Intro to Teaching course. Back when I thought I wanted to be a junior high teacher.

Self-fulfilling prophecy is a term coined by Robert Merton in 1948 to describe “a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true”(Bearman, Peter & Headstrom, Peter, pp 294-314). My own definition and explanation of a self-fulfilling prophecy can be summed up with the modern adage,

“Fake it,until you make it.”

I seriously must be the only person who just can’t figure out exactly what I want to be when I grow up (Mind you I’m about to turn 35 and I should have my sh** figured out by now). I just haven’t been able to commit to any one thing. Partly because I am interested in several fields of work.

Here’s a list of all of all the things I’ve said I wanted to be “when I grow up”:

Writer/News Reporter/Journalist,Junior High Reading Teacher,Counselor/Life Coach/Mental Health Specialist, Psychologist,Published Author (Genre: Children’s),Post-Secondary Educator:(Sociology)(Chicano/Ethnic Studies),Small Business Owner,Establishing a Private School,Literature or Language Arts Teacher.

Now that I AM grown up, my ambitions seem to be compounding in grandiosity . What I mean is…instead of being more practical, my ambitions seem to be growing and evolving into what seems to be an unobtainable dream. And they aren’t slowing down or diminishing in area.

My revised list of what I want to be when I grow up has changed. My new list includes:

Magazine Creator, Blogger, Social Media Marketer/Content Marketer, Philanthropist, Newspaper Creator, 🎥 Film/Video/Documentary Maker, Marketing Manager.

The only conclusion that I can come to is that no matter which road I choose, I will be doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. And that is storytelling. Therefore I do hereby declare myself a storyteller with the potential to become a Master Storyteller.

My personal self fulfilling prophecy is that I will become a Master Storyteller. It will seem effortless only because it is MY calling. I am ready to map out some of my goals and create a new ten year goal sheet for my fabulous future. I am ready for my masterpiece manifestation in the art of storytelling.

What are some of your grandiose dreams and ambitions? Better yet what do you want to be when YOU grow up? Or have you already been fortunate to land your dream job?

Whether you have your dream job or not, why not set some self-fulfilling prophecies for yourself? They can be personal, professional, educational, or for any other areas of your life. Please share some of them with me in the comments section.

Let me leave you with a famous quote that I love by the Victorian novelist, George Eliot:

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

–George Elliot

Now go out and conquer the world my friends.

To contact me:

dstatam63@bethelu.edu

candidchicana@gmail.com

My Image: Deanna Guadalupe Montalvo

Works Cited:

(Fake it) Unknown author

George Eliot. (n.d.) BrainyQuote.com Retrieved December 4, 2016, from BrainyQuote.com website: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgee

The Oxford Handbook of Analytical Sociology, ed. Peter Bearman and Peter Headstrom, Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009, pp294-314.