Mexican family

12 Little Known Ways, To Make Magical Memories With Your Children

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“It is not enough to give what we have; we must also give what we are.”

It is during the most mundane part of our day, that we find ourselves lost in the monotony of life. We wake up, we go to work, and we take care of the family in between. We repeat this vicious cycle: Wake up. Go to work. Go home. Go to bed. Wake up. Do it all over again. Before you know it, the year has passed. Then two years zoom by. Astonishingly, the next thing you know, 2 years turns to 7. Eventually an entire decade flashes by!

As you sit there, reflecting over how the time has slipped away from you, and thinking to yourself,

“Where has the time gone?”

Before you have time to start mulling over your many regrets, missed opportunities, and failures, instead glance over at your growing munchkins! Sit there and observe every little intricate detail about them. Admire their growing little bodies. They are your life. They are your treasure. They are your most valuable possession! Savor this life!

Parents, do not allow the weight of the world to poison you! Eh! We have daily battles. Much to our dismay, our little rugrats can become a nuisance, compounding to our ever present stress. Additionally, we become burdened with bills and problems. Every day the stress snowballs out of our control. Consequently, during these trials, we fail to realize that our children just want to play with us. They don’t understand job layoffs, divorces, and other adult catastrophes. Children want to know they are loved and protected.

Therefore, rid yourself from the urge to solve all of life’s problems overnight, and just spend time with your children. If there is anything I know for sure, it’s that children will remember whether you had time for them. My parents were dirt poor and yet they always made time for us. Furthermore, it didn’t matter to me one bit that we lived in an efficiency rather than a fancy house. It mattered to me that my mami always figured out how to have a hot meal for us. Even when she had to use a propane tank to cook our meals. Yes! A propane tank! Lord knows I am thankful for frijoles y tortillas. I’m a proud frijolera!

Loving parents are never too PROUD to do whatever it takes to PROVIDE for their children. Laboriosly, they research for how to retrieve the things the family desperately needs. God just blesses parents with that cadaver dog instinct. It’s in their DNA. They can find all of their needs. They make a way! Therefore, do not worry about the upcoming winter and all of the seasonal stress, and the bills. Do not panic because the kids are growing like weeds and need new clothes. Rest easy in the knowledge that everything will be ok. It always is. Christmas will be here before you know it, and if you just REMEMBER these 12 ways to make magical memories with your children, it just might relieve some of that seasonal stress.

  1. Learn Together- Help them with School Work And Or Homeschooling
  2. Worship God Together- At Home, Church, In the Car, Anywhere
  3. Devotional Times- Family Prayers, Reading Bible Together, Studying & Discussing The Word Of God, Memorizing Scriptures
  4. Playing- Watching the children play, and or joining them, Build Forts, Castles, Pretend Play
  5. Singing- Music is magical! Let them sing. Sing with them. Invite the neighbors too!
  6. Gardening- Grow things together: Plants, Veggies, Fruits, Flowers, whatever!!!
  7. Eating- Eat together as a family. For a more magical memory, set the table and enjoy dinner at the family table together.
  8. Read- Read books to them. Let them read books to you. Read books to each other. Invite the grandparents to read to them. Record those memories on video and make it a family keepsake/heirloom.
  9. Current Events- Have conversations with your children about what is going on in the world. Let’s bring up kids who give a damn! They really are our future.
  10. Movie Night- Family Flicks & Popcorn Night (My personal favorite and one I plan to implement weekly this year)
  11. Baking/Cooking- Cook together. Bake together. And teach them to share with the less fortunate. Feed someone who is hungry.
  12. Start A Family Business- Teach them about budgeting money, finances, and being good stewards.

Now, don’t fret about tomorrow my friends. Worry only about today. God Be With You!

The more love we share with everyone, the more loveable we become

Quotations Taken From:

Anthony, Robert Dr. THINK BIG, A Think Collection, Berkley 1999

A Story About How Benevolent Giving Impacts Communities

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You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments that stand out are the moments when you have done things for others

-Henry Drummond

From The Treasure Chest

Papi use to tell me stories about growing up in poverty in Mexico. I remember how he would chastise and lecture us about our wastefulness.

He would shake his head with disapproval if we were being wasteful, and then would proceed to tell us about his experiences as a young boy in Mexico.

He would tell us that he was so poor that even as a 15 year old boy…he didn’t have shoes to wear. He would get teased and bullied by other kids at school because he didn’t have shoes.

To make matters worse…he would work out in the heat to help abuelito. With no shoes, I can’t even begin to imagine what the hot dirt did to his feet. Blister and burn him for sure.

He would tell us his stories with pride. He knew he had worked hard. They would pay him with livestock. He was giddy about a pig he earned once.

That was how it was back then. People didn’t have money, so…they bartered. They would “borrow” my Papi for field hands and manual labor…but pay him with what they had.

Papi didn’t tell us this because he wanted sympathy or empathy. Rather, he used this as a life lesson to teach us that we should be good stewards of everything we have. If he caught us being wasteful, we would hear about it.

I was blessed to have him as my Papi for 60 years. In those years I have many fond memories. Some of my favorite, are when he would take clothes and supplies to his family in Mexico. He even managed to buy trucks and take them to his brothers in Mexico.

I remember we would put a camper on the truck and load it up with boxes and boxes of clothes in the back.

I even remember when we took the clothes to an impoverished town to deliver the clothes. I will never ever forget what I saw and how I felt.

I saw my Papi calling all the people out to the truck. Papi had left the camper at the rancho. So the people just hopped right on the bed of the truck and began digging through the clothes. Smiling, laughing, and, taking what they could use.

I felt happy to see people were so elated to receive used clothes. I felt proud that my Papi loved his gente so much, and that he had a big heart for giving. He never forgot about his people.

To this day…I am inspired when I see mi gente buying ropa and zapatos y mas to take to Mexico. I work at a thrift store and am lucky to meet many amazing people.

Not just Mexican people, but many other cultures too. I have seen African women buying in bulk to send to Africa. And many others too.

One day a lady came to my register to check out. I struck up a conversation with her and discovered that she was making her purchase as a ministry gift to the impoverished people in remote areas in Mexico.

I got excited when she told me about her planned trip to make the delivery. I was so happy to hear this because it brought back many memories of my trips to Mexico with goods to deliver to familia and the poor.

I asked the lady to take lots of pictures and to please remember to come back and show me. Well several months passed by.

Then one day the lady came back into the store. Honestly, I didn’t think she would come back, although I hoped she would.

She showed me her photos. We talked and we cried. I listened to her tell about her experience and how thankful the people were. She was so impacted by the people that she said she would do another trip.

They asked her for food. But she said it’s very difficult to bring food from US to Mexico because of restrictions. But she wants to raise funds so that when she is in Mexico next time, she can bring them food too.

I have shared her gofund me link after this post so that you can read her story and maybe you will feel led to make a charitable contribution to her personal ministry in helping the poor.

Or perhaps you can just remember to give when and where you can. If you can’t give goods or funds….please….give kindness. Give your time by volunteering when you can.

Kindness is free. But nobody uses it anymore. I am very disheartened by the callousness of people’s hearts and actions these days.

This topic has been on my heart lately. I am not a perfect woman. I make mistakes. But I am proud that I had parents who taught me to give.

Parents that, despite being dirt poor, were able to bless many many people. I pray that I can be as kind a person as my parents. As kind as this good samaritan lady.

God doesn’t look at the size of your giving. He just wants you to give what you can. I learned from one of my favorite books, The Blessed Life, by Robert Morris, that you can’t outgive God. This book has the best teaching on the subject of giving and tithing. I recommend it to everyone any chance I get.

No matter what or how much you contribute, your giving has a positive impact. I pray that God would bless both the givers and the receivers, for we never know on which end we will be.

https://www.gofundme.com/37itjc0

Works Cited:

Morris, Robert. The Blessed Life

Wallis. L. Charles, The Treasure Chest. 1965. Harper & Row Publishers Inc. 49 East 33rd Street ,New York 16, N.Y.

Good People | Buena Gente – Part One

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A very frequent colloqiualism I heard growing up in the Mexican community, was:

“El/Ella es buena gente.” Which basically translates to: “He/She is good people.”

I also read that “good people”is not proper English. It is considered Black Slang in A Dictionary of Afro-American Talk by Clarence Major 1971 1513N.

I recently celebrated my 35th birthday on February 13. I am so blessed that in these 35 years I have had the privilege to meet some really “buena gente”,”good people.”

The reason I first started my blog was because I lost the most “buena gente” person that I knew. My papi.He passed on to eternal glory in July of 2016.

He was truly “good people.” He was brave, intellectual, empathetic, resilient, kind, he had a sense of humor, and so many other things.

As I have previously written, I miss our candid talks the most. Towards the end of his life he was just too ill, to have one more talk with me.

And although I desperately wanted to ask him to, I refrained myself from doing so. He was suffering greatly and I didn’t want to be selfish.

I think that’s what I mourn the most. That I can never fill that void. That I can never talk to him again. I mean he can hear me, but I can’t hear him.

Maybe that’s why my blog is the prescription that I need to give me a little bit of pain relief.

He was the only one who would listen to me. I mean really listen to the words I was saying. Then he would THINK about his response.

He would give me sound, rational advice. He just always knew what to say. I never know what to say or how to say it, hence the reason I try to write it instead.

Now that my dad is gone my joy comes from meeting all the “good people” in the world that I come across.

It makes me happy when I meet someone (especially complete strangers) who are willing to chat up a storm about whatever strikes our fancy.

I love to see their raw emotions. I love to find a way to connect with them. I enjoy listening to them tell me their stories. And I get excited to share them with you.

I hope you continue to follow my blog because in part 2 of my “Good People” “Buena Gente” Blog Mini Series, I will be sharing with you the story about how I met the son of a Former NFL Hall of Fame’r who is the epitome of ” good people.”

This is one story you won’t want to miss.

I dedicate this mini series to my loving father. My hero. Jose Guadalupe Montalvo. You are greatly loved and missed Papi. I hope I make you proud. I love you! This February, this “love” month, I will share my love by telling the stories of these “good people” with the world. Even if I’m only reaching 60 people right now.

It is not what he has, nor even what he does, which directly expresses the worth of a man, but what he is.

-Henri Frederic Amiel

Grito Mexicano

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One of my favorite things to do is listen to rancheras y mariachi music y corridos y tu sabes…….todas las mas chingonas canciones Mexicana‘s.

It also brings back memories of my childhood when mi mamai escuchaba her favoritos grupos. I remember Los Temerarios, La Mafia, Vicente Fernandez, Yolanda Del Rio, y muchos mas, would be playing on any given morning.

Oh……and the smell of Pinesol! If the musica came on, that meant it was time to stop being a huevona and help mami clean the house.

Music is like a time machine…that only teleports you back to yesteryears. How I wish I could go back to when mi papi was alive. I really would love to see him happy again. And listening to his favorite corridos mas padres!

Some of you know what a Mexican grito is, but many of you may not know. Well I’m not really sure of a technical definition of it but I’ll try to explain it.

A grito is a “yell”,”scream”, or a “shout”that has to be belted out at the perfect time during a song that’s really captivating your entire soul and being.

It’s like the song has hypnotized you and you can feel multiple emotions throughout the song. Like feeling sadness, grief, aching, longing, longsuffering, pain, joy, happiness, valiant, strong, in love yet heartbroken, and more, all during the song.

The song is so powerful that it transcends the person listening and or singing. And I personally think it’s something every Mexican can do and that it was a gift given to us by our ancestors. No te creas! I don’t know…maybe I should go out and do a poll just to test my theory. But really, it’s not so hard, even los kids can do it.

I still listen to rancheras in the car with my own children. And I try to translate as much of the song as I can to my children.

I tell them about practicing their “gritos“, because this is tradition you know. And they must know, that the timing and execution of the grito is critical.

If you have never heard a grito you can search YouTube for some fun videos so you can witness the power of the grito.

So turn the musica on amigos y amigas. Let‘s pass down this valueable information to our hijas y hijos.

Mis Padres, My Parents!

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After I got home from work the other night, I called my mami. Earlier that day I had been having a rough time. I had many things troubling me. So I told her the details of my day and asked her some questions.

I was hoping that she could offer some encouragement and would have some input for me. So I was a little crushed when she just responded,

“I don’t know mija“.

There was an awkward silence after her response. I just smiled though because it was ok. I know she’s still grieving the loss of my papi (daddy).

I wasn’t crushed because she didn’t have an awnser, but because I really just needed reassuring responses. Or better yet if I could just have one more of those candid conversations I used to have with mi papi.

Mi papi would have these deep, thought provoking replies. He always knew just what to say.There was never a right or wrong answer. He just always had a well thought out message. His wisdom probably credited to the life experiences he had.

As I previously shared in my bio page post, I lost mi papi in July. My dad somehow knew that I didn’t really need an answer to these questions (because there is no ONE awnser). He knew I just needed to engage in a philosophical conversation. He was brilliant at helping me to understand “life”. Gosh I miss him so much! I still cry everyday.

I feel like I am constantly trying to talk about him. I’m always finding any reason to bring him up (So if it’s annoying, I apologize). Hopefully, what I say is inspiring and not irritating.

Now don’t get me wrong about my mom. She’s smart too. I call her a “Jane of all trades”. She is skilled in many ways. She’s entrepreneurial. She DIY’s and I’m not only talking about crafts and glue gun type. I’m talking about ordering Auto Zone and Oreilys Auto Parts kind and being her own mechanic. She really has superhero strengths 💪.

My mother is my only living parent now, so I will be scrutinizing everything she does and how she does it (And being the nerd that I am, I’ll probably write notes to help me remember for future reference). Not in a negative and critical sense but just in an awe and respectful sense.

It brings a smile to my face, knowing that I see a combination of the traits of both my parents in myself. I feel like I inherited mi papi’s intellectual and philosophical curiosity and mi mami’s creativity and entrepeneurial gusto.

During their formative years, my parents both dropped out of middle school; my dad in Mexico, and my mom in America. I wish I would have inquired a little more about their extenuating circumstances. I’m sure we talked about it some. I regret not having written any of it down, for my memory fails me now.

I now have to fill that vacant space someway. I have to find other people who are willing to have these candid conversations with me. That’s hard to do in this day in age because everyone is busy in life, or caught up on social media such as Facebook (Whom I myself have become victim to frequently).

Perhaps this blog I’ve created will be a little outlet, and a way to fill that vacancy. I enjoy using my creativity to challenge myself in this way. I love words and writing. I’m on a learning adventure everyday of my life. I meet people with incredible stories and I pray that one day they will let me share their stories as well.

Feel free to chime in. Obviously my blog and my writing won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But hopefully in some way I can encourage others to pursue their passions. I want to hear your thoughts. Tell me the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So my parting thought and message for this post is,

Honor your mother and father. Remember to call your parents tonight. Thank them for all they have sacrificed. Most importantly don’t forget to tell them you love them.

–Deanna Guadalupe Montalvo

I’m not trying to be bossy or sound condescending. I’m just a little jealous because I can’t call mi papi anymore. I sure will be calling my mom though.

If you don’t have your parents to talk to anymore. Please don’t be sad. Email me. I will read your stories and engage in philosophical (or any candid) type of conversations with you.

I hope you like reading my stories and snippets of life as well. If you do please follow my blog. And if you don’t that’s quite alright too.

To contact me:

dstatam63@bethelu.edu

candidchicana@gmail.com

My Photo: “Papi & Mami” Jose Guadalupe Montalvo, Gloria Anna Montalvo