Chicana student

Discerning The Direction Of Your Dreams

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Sometimes I wonder why God gives me these Herculean dreams. I can be thinking that I have it all figured out, and then suddenly God gives me more.

That’s not a complaint really, I’m thankful HE trusts me so much, to assign these special jobs to me. But I am just sitting here talking to God, and maniacally ruminating over every idea and project.

Thinking,

Dear Lord, can I handle all of this? God I have the first documentary to work on… now you bless me with this one. But you’re right LORD, this project is immensly more meaningful, powerful, and massively needed in the Mexican community. God what about my childrens book series? I should be doing that as my PRIORITY. After all, that is my very first project idea. Not to mention my illustrator is patiently waiting on me to finish this. GET IT TOGETHER DEANNA! I tell myself. Tick-tock, tick-tock! Time is of the essence D! Where will I get the resources and finances to fund this? How? How? How? Please tell me now LORD! Yikes! This could take years. Where do I even find the equipment? What about that project I wanted to help my daughter with? They will be grown and gone before I know it. (Big sigh).What about my creative business idea? Can I incorporate that in too, into my schedule and into my life? I have to! It’s mandatory not optional.What if I never finish, or I die? That’s like a permanent, irreversible, INCOMPLETE on my entire life. God please let me accomplish all these wonderful ideas you have put on my mind! It scares me to think what if my dreams don’t come true? What if my time runs out?Etc. Etc.

That would be the greatest tragedy of my life. Those are the things I obsess over daily.

Mix together my maniacal thoughts, with a dash of fear, a half cup of doubt and cup of procrastination. Guess what you get?

You get a lone loba writer, stranded on the deserted island, of the Prisoner Of Words. Cautiously, waiting for the spirits to guide me in the right direction. Waiting to be free to run into the wild once again, to regain my clarity and my vision.

I don’t have all the answers. Most days, I can see the vision clearly, and other days I don’t have the focus. But the appetite, the hunger is never entirely satisfied. Just when I think I’m full, I get hungry for more.

My brain tries to put all the pieces of the puzzle together quickly and painlessly. I try to be strategic in my plans and organization. In the end I know I can do more, and I have to do more. Most importantly I must conquer the fear.

My ideas are as colorful and infinite as Charlie’s Evergobstopper, in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. They don’t dull or diminish.” They keep coming. To this I marvel at my God!

I found some apps this weekend to help me keep track of my writing productivity and projects. I am excited that I’m on a new journey. One I’ve never been on before. One that scares the bleep outta me.

But I feel my spirit leading me. It’s difficult for this lone loba to go to uncharted territory and pave a path. But I must confess that when a dream placed on you brings you to tears, and you feel it inside all of your soul, you follow it.

This is what I am being led to do. Hold nothing back. It’s better to try and fail than to always wonder what if. And it’s EVEN BETTER to make your magic in the world.

Leave your mark. Trust your instincts! They will lead you if you listen!

God Bless. I pray that God is giving you direction in your own creative dreams and goals. And that you can listen to the spirit guiding you.

You love what you find time to do.

-Dr. Robert Anthony

Quote: Anthony, Robert Dr. THINK BIG A Think Collection, Berkley, Aug. 1999

Photo Credit: http://www.freeimages.com,TomTown

Reminiscing

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Hi friends!

I hope after you see my high school memory, you will be inspired to share yours with me too. So feel free to send me one of your high school pics along with a current pic. Have you changed much? I have.

Here is a high school pic of me in an old yearbook. This was probably my senior year. It was a college info day. I was at the Marine’s recruiting table😂😂😂. Interestingly enough, I did not join the Marine’s.

Photo: Plainview High School Yearbook

However, Petty Officer Trent Miller, a U.S. Armed Forces Recruiter, did a swell job of convincing me to join the United States Navy. Hoorah!

I desperately wanted to be a (JO) in the Navy. In civilian terms that’s a journalist. But that ASVAB exam kicked my butt. It was seriously the most challenging exam I ever took. And I took many, including: the PSAT, the SAT, and the ACT. The ASVAB by far, gave me the most massive migraine imaginable.

My scores didn’t rank high enough for me to choose (JO) which was soul crushing, because I could imagine myself being a reporter in the Navy and working for the The Flagship or the Navy Times, two military newspaper publications. But seriously the exam tested things I was absolutely ignorant about such as; Electronic Information, Automotive and Shop Information, Mechanical Comprehension, and Assembling Objects.

I did the next best thing I could do, I became a culinary specialist in the Navy and earned my $30,000 Navy College Fund.🎓 I have a picture somewhere. I was holding a giant jumbo check like a lotto winner photo. 😂😂😂. I’ll have to look for it and post it at a later time.

So, after I graduated from Plainview High School, in Plainview Texas in May of 2000, I went to bootcamp in Great Lakes, Illinois.

After my graduation from bootcamp, I went to Culinary A School, in San Antonio, Texas at Lackland Airforce Base.

Following Culinary A School, I received orders to the fleet in Norfolk, Virginia. I survived 4 years in the USN from June 11,2000 to June 11,2004 of active duty. I participated in sea trials and was an original plankowner on the USS IWO JIMA (LHD-7), an amphibeous assault ship that carries approximately 3,000+ Marines and Sailors aboard this little “floating city.”

I got married, thus our marital status changed to dual military. And my orders were changed to shore duty. And I worked the other end of my occupation which was hotel management. Although military jargon describes these facilities as, barracks (not hotels). These barracks are typically for active duty stationed personnel. Mostly shore duty personnel.

Soon after I became pregnant with my first daughter in 2000 ( I was 19 years of age). I delivered her at Portsmouth Naval Hospital. Virginia.

I got married. (That was my first marriage).

I got pregnant again later with my second daughter (I was 21). Once again I delivered my baby girl at Portsmouth Naval Hospital.

Unfortunately for me, my first husband (now ex) divorced me, and abandoned his two daughters. ☮of💩!(My daughter’s gave me permission to put that, sorry, not sorry!)

Then at age 22 I received an honorable discharge. Afterwards, I went back to my hometown as a sorrowful and brokenhearted divorced mother, of two little princesses. I tried to put the pieces of my life together again.

They are the most amazing little girls in the world, so it wasn’t too hard to be happy.

It has been a bumpy ride, but we’re still going.

Here is me now!💋 See pic below. Life has been rough for me. Pero like mi papi taught me; sigo adelante!

Post your pics below in the comments or share them on my Facebook page with the #Reminiscing.

Contact me at either of these emails:

dstatam63@bethelu.edu

candidchicana@gmail.com