Information:

I have decided to work on my children’s book series for December, so you might not see me as much as you have been seeing me on CANDID CHICANA blog and DEANNA’S DARK DIARY, just for a little while. Also I’ll resume podcasting for CANDID CHICANA’S CHAT ROOM ,after my project is done. If I have something really important to say, I can make a quick live podcast message.

But I will pop in from time to time to the blog if I have thoughts and reflections or whatever random things come to me. I’ll make small blog posts. Or just to keep you updated on my progress. Maybe that will help me be a little more accountable to my project.

If you do follow me on Facebook then you will be seeing my recurring posts (older articles/content) that are set up to be posted daily as my recycled content. I really want my focus and concentration to be 100% on finally writing my small children’s books series.

A Discussion For My Ladies.

Now, I have some random thoughts that came to me tonight. Pertaining to that, of being a woman. And I’m just wondering if I can open up a dialouge about it. So please leave your thoughts and input in the comments and your opinions, advice, or experience.

I’ve made many life choices that have altered the direction of my life. Some good, others not so much.

One thing that I feel drastically alters a woman’s life is when she gets pregnant. It doesn’t matter whether she’s 15, 19, 21, 25, 35, 40, etc..

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Leandro Cesar Santana

Once a woman becomes a mother, she becomes 100% vetted into rearing her children. Many times abandoning her passions, dreams, or ambitions, to fully devote herself to her children/family.

Often, the partner bails out on them. He abandons this new mom and leaves her to fend for herself and the unborn/newborn child.

Not every partner abandons the pregnant woman, but many do.

So either way this woman, who has now become pregnant, her life is forever permanently altered, with or without a supportive partner beside her.

Ok so when I was 18 years old and in the U.S.Navy, I became pregnant. And this forever altered my future from then on out. It altered my career, my body, my lifestyle choices, my finances, my emotional well being, and more.

Then after he abandoned me during my second pregnancy, my life was altered even more. Because now I was a 21 year old, new mom, of two little girls. It altered my decision making, determined who I dated now, it altered my ambitions, my education and more.

I was still obligated to my 4 year enlistment, but now also as the new mother of these two precious baby girls, abandoned by their father. I would have to learn to be a single parent.

I had to make a big decision. Whether I felt if staying in the military was the best option, or if just finishing my enlistment and moving on with my life was better. I chose to take my honorable discharge and high tale it outta there with my baby girls.

Those were some awful times for me. I struggled so hard. And after 16 years, I’ve yet to receive a phone call from him to check up on his daughter’s, or a letter or anything. My daughter’s went through phases where they asked and begged for him. But they seem to be ok now.

It was difficult for me to navigate motherhood without anyone’s support. But I learned survival quickly. It was do or die.

So then my thoughts are….why are men always looking for their next baby momma? It’s as if they literally go on a search for the best woman to conceive their children. Many of them seem impulsive and in a rush.

It’s not a bad thing that they are looking for a good woman to have their children. It is a bad thing if they don’t want the responsibility that comes with it.

I’m not shittin you! I’ve heard men discussing this. I believe the word they used was pedigree. As in lineage. They don’t want to impregnate just any woman. It has to be a certain woman that fits their mold/standard.

I suppose that would vary from man to man. But my confusion about it is, what traits exactly does this woman need to be the chosen one? And is this woman weak, or strong? Because if he just wants to make the baby but not support it, then I’m confused.

I ask because I remember reading something a long time ago about men’s primal instincts to mate, but I should say procreate, with someone who could give them strong healthy children. They know the scent of the woman they want birthing their children.

So according to “survival of the fittest” philosophy, he will choose a woman he thinks can help him procreate the strongest and healthiest children possible. Also think about how we’ve since evolved, what would that look like today?

I’m just curious to see what women think about this.

Do you believe men search for the strongest female to have their children? Or is she actually weak? Why do you think what you think ?

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Meagan Lynette

And if they are searching for strong women, what determines whether he leaves or stays? Did he leave afterwards because he now thought the woman was weak? Did he leave because he’s a moron? Is she really weak if she stayed to rear the children alone, while he hopped on to more new wives and made more children that he created and then also abandoned?

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Mon Petit Chou Photography

Ok, so thats a lot to think about.

I’m only inquiring, this topic discussion does not mean I hate men, or that I think they are all bad. Many men get with women who already have children and fill that vacant father figure role that needs to be there. And they should be commended for that. They are real hero’s.

I’m just curious what y’all think? Men and women can chime in, but I’m looking for women’s perspectives and thoughts.

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