When I was a little girl I would always ask my mom, “Mami, who is your best friend?”

Mami always responded with, “no tengo mejor amiga.” (I don’t have a best friend.)

Then I would ask her why. She would say to me, “Mija, no hay amigas.” (Daughter, there are no friends.)

Over the years I watched as many of my mom’s friends had betrayed her in various ways. But one particular time that comes to mind, is when one of those friends she had, stole all of her gold jewelry.

My mami was obssessed with her oro(gold.) Most of it was from Mexico. She owned gorgeous rings, earrings, chokers, necklaces, and medallions of all sorts. She had accumulated quite a fancy and valuable assortment of dowry over a large span of years. Mind you, we were dirt poor growing up, so it took my mom many years to accumulate her little dowry stache.

Many of her pieces of gold jewelry were even purchased by my papis relatives, so they had sentemintal value. My papi had ocho hermanos y una hermana. (8 brothers and one sister).

They did have one other brother that had died as a child I believe. He was never really talked about much. It was something that I feel may have traumatized my father in his life. Possibly it was a freak accident type of death.

This may be the reason why my papi was a helicopter parent all of his life, and perhaps also the reason I too, am now a helicopter mom.) I really dont know, that is just the vibe I got.

Anyway, back to my original story, my Tia Rosa (aunt Rose) had picked many of those gold earrings for my mother. And my papis mami, my abuelita (fathers mother, my grandmother) also had gifted my mother some gold and silver jewelry for both her, the daughter-in-law, and us, the granddaughters.

It hurt my mami so much, when that so called “friend” stole all her gold jewelry. My mother confronted this woman (in what I like to say chola style), I’ll never forget it. She told her in a matter of words, that she knew she had stolen her jewelry. She asked her to return the jewelry, and that she would forgive her and never hold it against her. Just as long as she returned it. It was very sad to see my mom heartbroken and feeling betrayed.

Despite that betrayal of friendship, this story has a good ending.

A few days passed after the jewelry had been stolen. The woman must have felt some ounce of remorse for what she had done. Maybe hearing my mother confront her about it, was enough to cause her to feel convicted about it.

One day we came home, and beside our front door step, was a small brown bag. My mom opened the bag, and inside was all of her valuable jewelry. She was elated once again. She even called the woman and thanked her over and over again for returning it. I was in shock that my mother didn’t hold a grudge or hate this woman.

Why am I telling you this story?

I’m telling you, because my mom kept her word. She never held this incident against this woman. My mom could have chosen not to associate with her ever again. After all this woman was a lying, thief. I feel my mother would have been justified in terminating that friendship.

But it’s amazing to me, that my mom is still friends with this woman. She stayed friends with her all of these decades. This woman was also one of the many friends by mami’s side, when my papi passed away. I would even say, that she is still a close friend to my mother.

I’m happy to finally understand my mamis words, “no hay amigas”(There are no friends.) In a way she was telling me, that “friends”are going to let us down sometimes. But the people that are meant to be in your life, will make amends and make things right, if they are meant to be in your life. And those that don’t, don’t deserve you anyway!